My Christmas Blog.

(I know this seems long, but It’s what God put on my heart, and maybe it’s for all of us?)

I stood last night with Aaron at a local retailer debating about what to get Deanna for Christmas.  It sounds really petty…and I can’t believe I was even debating what I was debating.  Two, twelve-dollar gifts that (either one) would take my total Christmas investment for her to the $20 limit that we agreed upon.  (o.k., I stretched mine to the twenty-three“ish” range).  Later, Aaron and I paroozed the toy aisle just to “look around”.  Three year olds do not know what that means.  We spent ten minutes there and nine of them were splattered with the phrase, “I want this…pleeeeease”.  After my firm, “No, I’m sorry.  We are not getting that”, he followed up with the now ever-common, “but I LOVE it.”  There really was no debate in my mind…we were not getting it…any of it.  Not because I couldn’t get it for him…but because I was choosing not to.  

I must say that I was very surprised by the internal rumblings that followed Aaron’s requests.  I wanted to give him all of it.  I wanted to start throwing stuff in the cart and screaming to him, “daddy loves you so much…I’ll get it all for you.”   I found myself walking and fighting back tears, because I actually could not get him everything he wanted. (because he wanted everything.) We all live with a limited supply of resources…and that holds us back at times.  I was sad because I couldn’t get him everything in the store.  But there was something else that I couldn’t put my finger on.  
(In no way am I complaining about my compensation!  I love where I work, and they take care of me just fine.  Thank you!)

Then today (20 minutes ago) I finished ordering my Tenderloin Combo at Penguin point.  It’s the best tenderloin sandwich in Warsaw. (Especially when combined with Penguin Point fries and a Cherry Coke)  After I got my drink, I sat down and noticed the lady behind me had just completed her order.  She laid a couple of crumpled dollar bills on the counter and was searching her coin purse to fulfill the balance of her purchase.  Because of the wear on her shoes, the condition of her clothing and obvious body language she was broadcasting, I concluded in my mind that this lady had probably been through this before…and from the way the cashier was looking at her…the outcome did not look good.  Hundreds of thoughts rushed through my mind and I realized that this woman was debating revising her order…and possibly not even satisfying her hunger.  I sat there stunned.  Her debate was over food.  Here debate was what to put back.  Her debate…almost brought me to tears for the second time in two days.  I did take action, but it’s not important how.  What is important is what God did to me next.

I sat there eating my tenderloin realizing (through the revelation of the Holy Spirit) that at that moment, there were people debating:
Whether to get the cell phone with the camera, or the cell phone with the MP3 player.  
Which pair of $90 pants to get.
What would go better with ham…red or white wine?
When they should surprise the kids with the trip to the Caribbean?
Which lot they should put their $372,000 house on…the one on the hill, or the one in the woods.
…but at the very same time, there are people right here in my own community debating:
Should I break the law to make sure my kids have something under the tree for Christmas?
Should I set the thermostat on 55 or 58?
Should I call the landlord before or after Christmas?
Should we really spend money on gas to drive to the family Christmas?
Should this be the year we tell the kids there is no Santa so they understand why there are no presents?
Should I ask for help?
Should I put back the fries or the sandwich?

I’m realizing that my debates that I have in my mind on most days are very petty!  I’ve not had any of the (above listed) debates in my mind in the past week.  God has supplied all of my needs.  I wonder too if he has protected me from some of the more “positive” debates to keep me dependant on him?  All I know is this.  It’s three days before Christmas.  My debates are pretty simple and I need to be thankful (and convicted)  that I am having these pretty petty debates in my mind.  
I have a beautiful, loving wife, an incredible son, a child on the way, a terrific job at an amazing church, a warm house, two cars that run…and my hunger today has been fulfilled by the Penguin Point Tenderloin combo that I couldn’t bring myself to finish because of my disappointment in myself, and my petty debates.  Thank you God for being my savior, my Lord, my provider and my sustainer.  Please forgive me for the debates I’ve had in my mind that have dismissed you from all of those roles!

Merry Christmas everyone!

(If you are debating any of the “positives” listed above, it’s completely coincidental!  Keep debating...it’s nothing personal!)